Toddlers and Jetlag

I equate the feeling of jetlag to being held under a pool of water for extended periods of time, while still being able to breath; everything is just a little bit blurry and things, like your brain for instance, are slow to respond, to anything...now, what was I talking about?

Oh yes, the properties of resistance under water make things just that little bit harder. It probably takes a normal adult about 3-4 days to start to feel human again.  If you have a toddler in the same house as you, also suffering from jetlag, you would not be considered normal… and I would estimate that you will never recover, until perhaps one or more of you relocates.

Water has long been used as a preferred tool of torture.  Lack of sleep, also.  Put them together and you are in some cruel parallel universe.  It’s one thing struggling with your own time clock issues, but when you have to deal with another’s it makes it twice as hard – especially when those out of sync clocks are out of sync.

What was just a few days ago a charming and endearing quality has now turned into sheer torment.  If I hear the short one announce from her cot ‘guten morgen’ at some ungodly hour again, I think I will scream.  Oh, hang on, I already have, repeatedly.  The neighbours are probably wondering what in God’s name is going on in our place at 2 o’clock in the morning.  I can assure them, it’s not a fun time being had by all!

My rudimentary research into this topic revealed the encouraging words that toddlers and babies acclimatise to changes in time zones a lot better than adults and a lot quicker.  In fact, one piece of priceless advice went so far as to say that they get over it very quickly, taking only a day, usually. Clearly these researchers haven’t met our torturous toddler.

They also suggest that flying in a westerly direction is much easier to cope with.  Oh, OK, next time I’ll just ask the airline pilot if he wouldn’t mind altering his flight path somewhat. I mean, only slightly, like turning around and flying the other way altogether!

Another ever-helpful site suggested changing the sleep pattern prior to coming home.  Useful information, last week!

If I hit on anything that remotely resembles a cure for this insidious condition, I’ll let you know, but at this rate the best I can come up with is leaving home. 

Now, where did I leave that suitcase?