I have just spent the last half hour googling how to remove papaw cream from hair.
Strange past time you may think...but obviously one that many have ventured into before I came along. Bizarrely, I got so far as to type in 'removing petr' into Google when it auto filled - removing petroleum jelly from hair. Now, that's just a little bit random. Just how many people out there engage in this unconventional beauty regime?
I had only finished saying today that the short one's hair was a little dry and I have had to add conditioner into her overall pampering package. Clearly she decided that she would take it just that little step further and empty the entire contents of a tub of papaw cream onto her head. Simply not satisfied with just sticking with the personal grooming session, she also decided that the wooden floors needed a bit of a wax, as did the side tables. So much so that on my entering the room to investigate the progression of the supposed afternoon sleep, I go for a skate across the room to land unceremoniously on the bed.
At that point in time, I saw the glistening head of said three year old telling me, 'My hair is lovely and clean...' all the while rubbing it like some unhinged hairdresser. It was about then that I realised the extent of the disaster that now befalls me. One empty 200g tub of petroleum jelly-type product plastered all over the bedroom and child's head.
Closely following this revelation, I lose the plot and start screaming like a mad woman, 'What have you done?' to which she exclaims (as if it is some important consideration at this point of time), 'I'm OK.'
'That's great - but what about my floor...my furniture...your hair?'
With the fervour of the aforementioned mad woman the child is thrown, futilely as it turns out, into the bath for a severe hair washing session...take it from me, shampoo, conditioner and water are no match for the aggressive stickability of papaw cream.
So this leads me back to my google search...removing petroleum jelly from hair.
Top answer on Yahoo answers - with some poor woman pleading for any assistance after trying everything....'Well... you won't do that again!' (You can almost hear the sanctimonious tone in the voice.)
Next website suggests I cut the hair. This is not looking good for a child with precious little follicle action as it is.
Next best options...cornstarch, cornflour, baby powder, baking soda, dish washing liquid...it's looking more like I'll be whipping up a batch of scones, or doing the dishes...
For now these options will have to wait. The child is finally sleeping, looking like some sort of grease monkey...and me well, I'm just shaking my head asking myself, 'Why me?'